VAN HELSING

Director: Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Deep Rising)
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsdale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham

For five minutes at the start of this film, I had moderately high hopes for this monster flick. The opening scene was a beautifully shot black and white homage to the Frankenstein pictures. Then the real Van Helsing began and my hopes faded to oblivion. First off, Hugh Jackman seemed a bit too good to be in this movie. Kate Beckinsdale, however, was entirely in her element (pure shameless suck). I still have hope for her, but so far she's shown me nothing but awful character after awful character. I won't bother describing the plot, especially since I really don't want to relive it ever again. The final tally: Really bad script, utterly unremarkable bad guy (Richard Roxburgh as Dracula), not funny, possibly some of the worst use of CGI I've yet seen, Hugh Jackman decent, Kate Beckinsdale decent (mostly due to the camera consistently framing her oh-so-tight butt). This movie shot for whimsical, but landed solidly at annoying.

Standouts: Some slim entertainment value and a really good first scene.
Blowouts: The script – just awful. Simply awful.

Grade: D