TROY

Director: Wolfgang Peterson (Das Boot, The Perfect Storm, Outbreak, Air Force One)
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brendan Gleeson, more

An epic? More like an epic piece of crap, thanks to the hollywood-ization of this classic. In this Iliad, Brad Pitt walks around naked a great deal of the time, barring his ripped abs and monster pecs. In this Iliad, Achilles dies saving his one true love from the hands of the evil king Agamemnon. In this Iliad, Helen is an annoying club chick. There's this one thing that saves this film, though: The rest of the Iliad. Even the crap-meisters who created this affront couldn't get past the fact that this remains one of the greatest stories ever told. Some of the supporting actors (some mind you) gave fine performances much more in line with the actual story. Peter O'Tool as King Priam and especially Sean Bean as Odysseus were the standouts. The epic nature of the Iliad manages to save the craptastic director's butt in this film.

Standouts: Some of the actors. Vague entertainment value.
Blowouts: Awful Hollywood reworking of a classic tale.

Grade: C+