CARS

Director: John Lasseter (Toy Story I & II, A Bug's Life)
Starring: voices of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt, Larry the Cable Guy

I like movies, a lot. I can usually find something to enjoy even in the bad ones. Cars was not necessarily a bad movie. What it was, though, was one of the most uninteresting movies I've seen in months. I just could not pay attention to this flick. I haven't been less interested in a animated main character since Will Smith's hip hop mackeral in Shark Tale, and frankly I may have enjoyed this movie even less than Shark Tale. I think that conceptually, this film has a LOT more to offer than Shark Tale. Unfortunately, that conception didn't pan out on the screen. I was just plain bored.

Cars lives in a humanless world of sentinent machines. Cars, trucks, tractors, planes, they're all alive in this world. The story follows a newbie Nascar racing car stud(Wilson) who gets stuck off of the interstate in a one-horse town (or one-car town as it were) along the once great Route 66.

Here in the middle of the desert he learns to slow down in life and enjoy it. He makes friends with the local characters, something he's never had time to do before. He finds love in a transplanted California lawyer car (a porsche voiced by Hunt). He finds a wise old teacher in Newman.

Point by point this film's plot was stolen from Doc Hollywood, the much cuter and much more enjoyable Michael J. Fox film of 15 odd years ago, and I mean stolen. It's probably the most severe creative plagarism I've seen in years. Everything from theme to major plot points to the kooky characters were lifted from that film. This is scary to say the least.

Here's the thing tho, I found Doc Hollywood anything but boring. Why was Cars so sleep-inducing? Well, the film had some absolutely beautiful images in it, and I mean really top-notch. The desert scenery and cars themselves were very well evoked. Storywise (stolen or not) this was a nice idea - slowing down, making some kooky friends, and falling in love. For whatever reason I just didn't find it enjoyable however. I realize that this film has received quite a bit of praise, but I disagree with it. America simply doesn't need 2 Nascar-related films in 2006. Nothing against Nascar, but that's just the way it is.

Probably my biggest complaint with this film is with the basic idea of making machines alive. I had the same issue with Robots, another massively hyped kids film of recent memory. Machines are just not lovable, at least not as compared to anything that's actually alive. You see rabbits are cute and hyenas nasty and people are the best of all. Things that are alive are what it's all about. Cars on the other hand are just hunks of steel that get you somewhere. Robots are a bit better since they at least imitate life. The toys in Toy Story also imitated life. Cars, though? They don't even vaguely resemble anything alive anywhere.

Standouts: Beautiful pictures on the screen. Decent story, plagarised or not.
Blowouts: Boring as all get out. This is no Nemo, or Toy Story.

Grade: C+